The Conflicting Emotions
Camp took off steady and everything was very fine until one night.
Yes, another annoying and conflicting moment. Before this night, I had enjoyed working with my Prayer Partner. We actually made a great team when it comes to brainstorming for ideas and strategies to get things executed, we were on it. This part is one of the things that had kept us close since Day 1. Uncle was Mr. intelligent and that definitely was attractive to me.
I like the brains behind his beautiful hands; I’ll tell you more the hands later. Focus.
So, working together was great which also meant spending some quality time together. You can’t work together well without sending subtle emotional vibes. I remember having chats with him about his relationship just to spy on the current situation of his love life. Why? No idea, I just felt like. Probably because there was a yearning somewhere in me to know what this serious intelligent man was like emotionally and romantically. So yes! Camp was good until this night.
I had just gotten back to the dorm and was ready to hit the sheets, typing a good night message to Uncle, when two ladies came by my bed space and were spying into the hall that was just opposite my room.
They started shouting and were a bit upset about Uncle and some lady. So, I peeped but I wish I hadn’t. For the first time, I literally felt a dagger to my chest and I had to ask myself “Girl, what happened to your walls?” It slowly occurred to me that I had move faster than I should have. I was beginning to allow Uncle get too close for comfort and a simple sight got me back to reality.
He is taken! Yes, that was the hard reality. Uncle was with the same lady (let’s call her CK) from the trip to camp and this time it felt like there was more to this pair just by peeping at them from my window. So instead of cute goodnight message, I sent Uncle one of my slicky comments;
“You both look good together, you just might make a good pair”.
I watched from the window as he picked his phone, read the message with a blank expression while still talking to her and he replied me saying; “What are you talking about?”.
“Your friend you are chatting with when everyone has gone to bed”
“LOL..c’mon, she’s just a friend”
In my mind, “that’s how it’s starts.”
I slowly dropped my phone and managed to shut my eyes from the worrying sight.
Trust the hard girl that woke up the next morning, heads up, shoulders high and walls rebuilt. There is no way one Uncle is making me become heartbroken. Mba.
I spent the morning chatting with Mr Prospect so as to help myself refocus on him. The enemy you know is better than the friend you don’t know right. Uncle was in women’s ministry which meant he had a world of women around him.
I am definitely not going to be one of those and become someone’s assignment. The hurtful sight from last night was enough to teach me my lessons. Today was going to be straight to business. Simply professional, no strings attached.
It was work as usual with Uncle while I also spent time online with Mr Prospect. I couldn’t deny that the physical presence of one was more captivating and endearing but I was bent on starting strong and keeping my walls in place. Good for me, I had few more days left on camp. I was leaving before the end of this camp .
Sadly, this particular day was filled with gist of Uncle and CK talking late into the night. The ladies were not going to keep quiet about it and it was just more draining for me. Best way to deal with this torture was to get busy, I focused on why I was on camp, focused on the teenagers, made a few friends and kept my world alive. Never been more grateful for my perfect smile, keeps my world sane.
It was a night to my last day on camp and I had to hand over a few of the task Uncle had given me to do. Somehow before this night, it felt like we had grown a bit distant, more because I had given him space; but this night felt special. We were going to spend time together and hopefully it would be nice. We talked about the task I had to handover; I shared my ideas on the other activities left undone. We both managed to finish up on some to dos, then, it moved from work to a little more personal.
He asked about what I had learnt from the scripture he shared at the beginning of camp and got talking a bit deeper about ourselves.
Unfortunately, CK was hanging around at a corner in the hall, waiting for Uncle to be done. She was praying but it felt like she was waiting for me to leave. I decided to be wise and tried to wrap up the discussion faster but Uncle seemed to be enjoying the conversation and he kept pressing for the conversation to go deeper. We talked a lot about different things and when we both started sleep talking, we decided to call it quit. I called on CK jokingly asking her if she won’t go to bed and she walked towards us. The three of us spent another few minutes chatting, one reason was because I didn’t want her seeing me as a threat to her relationship with Uncle. I was totally not in for any drama. We said our goodnights and off to the dorm. I stayed up a little bit more because I had asked him to call when he got to his dorm which was a longer walk than mine.
First thing, the next morning I was off to Ilorin for my first big wedding planning event. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that. I had just started pushing for my business in the event planning world and my first client who was also a good friend was getting married that weekend. It was a good deal for me because I was going to be too busy to even think about anything emotional palava. My trip to Ilorin was long but thoughtful. My mind was on Uncle and on Mr. Prospect, I spent the whole trip making very strong comparisons of both. The likes and dislikes, the maybes and what-ifs, the good, bad and ugly. It was a very draining one because there was just so much to deal with. I decided, whatever will happen, I will go for the wedding, make it the beautiful one, come back to Lagos, meet Mr Prospect and say Yes!
You know what, life goes on after that. Would I have regrets? maybe. Would I be satisfied with my decision, maybe not.
This is life and this is reality not a fairy tale.
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