THE STANDARDS
Live a little, stop being too uptight!
This was a song that was constantly being sung in my ears by friends, especially male friends who were interested in this girl but were not ready to dance to her tune. It seems all they wanted is all of me and to give back just a little of themselves. And sadly, they make the larger population around me.
It seems this was the class of guys that life had to offer, so do I take it or not? What’s the big deal really? My standards didn’t seem realistic? Or so I felt. It really just felt like this list of impossible attributes that I so much desire.
The interesting thing about me is when something becomes or seems impossible, it actually becomes intriguing for me. My stubborn self wants to stay with it and see it through. One of my daily lines is “giving up is not an option” and sadly this was me almost giving up on this long standing standards.
I have always been choosy when it comes to picking a man. There was a way he had to look, smell and speak. Oh, it was as detailed as him having very fine fingers. Interestingly a friend once saw my list and said I have a finger fetish. I didn’t quite take it seriously until I felt emotionally strong for some guy just because he had fine fingers only to realize fingers didn’t mean commitment neither did it make a workable relationship. As much as my list had all of these amazing physical, social and intellectual attributes, the spiritual was core and seemed like the leader of the whole pack.
So here I was wondering what it is I wanted in a man. What type of complimenting features would I like to see?
Truth is being spiritual without a good character might lead to emotional damage and lack of good looks could also make one detest the brother in da Lord.
Sitting here studying the word and all of a sudden, it jumps at me!
“Look, I have seen a son of Christ the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the Lord is with him.”
I Samuel 16:18 NKJV
This was the day I found the man I knew I was going to marry.
It was a perfect explanation of the thoughts in my heart. A full picture and guess what it wasn’t just all spiritual, it included skill and even looks. Ain’t no brother killing my vibes now. So I’m all out for everything.
Now I get it, but a monkey can’t chop banana without making a jump for it. I’m keeping my eyes out there but…hey…one thing that has stood as my drive in this life is that God cannot suffer his children, which means He will not give His almost perfect son an ‘unripe’ girl.
This makes the standard beyond getting the bro but also the benchmark for becoming the kind of sis for that brother. So I have got work to do because truth is, I’m not fit for the shoes of such awesomeness but as a goal getter that I am na, the race begins.
In slow motion, I started to compare myself to this model of God’s Son, it was leading to heartbreak because my imperfections now became my focus so much that I started seeing less of my goodness. That, I broke free from the day I jam the truth for the word again.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
Proverbs 18:22 NKJV
I realized my primary assignment was to be a ‘good thing’ and being good wasn’t a capacity I can acquire through works…na grace ooo. So I just have to learn to let my Father take the lead and I follow. Remember, Jesus was naturally called good? Well who else to teach us how to be good, Jesus right?
So here is my conclusions, stay with the one who teaches how to be good and especially since he is the one who also owns the Boo.
So my 2 don cut 4, make I just enter into the Process of Becoming the Bride.
Please share your thoughts.
OLUWATOBI 