As a regular guy without the luxury of a personal ride, atleast before Uber came and showed us the luxury of enjoying your own personal comfortable ride, one of the things I used to while travel time away is observation of the two captains in the ship, or rather three – The Bus Driver, the Conductor and well, the Passengers.

Of more interest to me is the relationship that goes on between the Bus Driver, who we all think is the owner of the bus by default and the Conductor, whom we all have a stereotype of already.

I have discovered that there are four (4l kinds of Driver – Conductor relationship, and well, I want to share it with you.

1. Crazy Driver – Cozy Conductor

In this type of relationship, the driver is the hot head and the conductor is like the leash that knows how to temper his boss and the noisy passengers.

In this situations, you find the conductor carrying out conversations with the passengers, and even when he is angry at someone for not paying the right amount of money or giving him a too high denomination, he says it with such sarcasm that seeks to make fun rather than hurt.

Oga driver on the contrary is always making noise, shouts at the agberos on the road, shouts at his fellow bus drivers, shouts at the conductor, just plain grumpy guy. As long as I have my seat in the backseat, I remain immune to Oga driver’s grumpiness.

2. Cozy Driver – Crazy Conductor

In this type of relationship, the conductor who seem like the thermostat in the bus is the grumpy and angry one. He is your ‘regular’ conductor stereotype. He shouts at you for your own balance, shouts at you to get into the bus, shouts at you to get off the bus, shouts at the passenger and shouts at the driver.

The driver is always trying to tell him to take it cool, but he gives the driver his own dose of the poison.

The driver plays the intermediary here from his driver’s seat asking the passengers not to waste their energy replying the riled up conductor. He has learnt to manage the always angry conductor.


3. Crazy Driver – Crazy Conductor

You don’t want to be in this bus at all. The times you find yourself here, you can’t wait to get out. The driver and conductor have a crazy mix of attitude. They could be cozy with each other, but they are constantly shouting and nagging the passengers, who in turn join in the tirade. The driver joins in the shout from the driver’s seat, and atimes drives in very silly ways.

Neither he nor the conductor apologizes for any delay they might cause on the road. They don’t care as long as you pay.

4. Cozy Driver – Cozy Conductor

This is the ideal bus I like to be in.There is a way I enjoy when there is a positive vibe flowing between the conductor and his conductor. I don’t find this everytime, but I enjoy it whenever I find it.
The conductor having a laugh with the driver, and also enjoying chit chat with the passengers is so heavenly…lol!
There are usually almost no noise in this kind of bus, except there are passengers trying to form political and economy analyst, apart from that, it’s just jolly nice ride.


Is there category I have missed out? Want to share an experience with any of this category? Please I’d love to hear from you. Thanks.

*PS: I’ll share how a conductor gave me the best gift ever tomorrow

2 thoughts on “THE CONDUCTOR SERIES (I)

  1. Loool… I enjoyed ever bit of this bro and had a good laugh too. Thanks bro!
    Can I really remember any experience…? I don’t think so, but those cases you mentioned were true. I haven’t really paid much attention to either of them though. May be I would, when I ride again.
    More grace sir!

    Liked by 1 person

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