Should a Christian Lady propose to a guy?

Disclaimer: You might not agree with what I want to share, but if you are interested, please read and drop your views, I’d like to hear.
2. The guidelines I will be mentioning addresses ‘Christians’.

Now let’s read.

Allow me start from the end.

I am a lover of relationships. I consider myself a relationship coach. I love to help people get relationship matters right. I love to help people have fruitful relationships as much as I can. I love to read about relationships. I love to talk about relationships.

I realized I have been a little out of touch with social media when I got to know about a certain sing with the lines sounding like “Skiiiira! Pa pa pa pa! Tu ko tum! Pa po pa!!” about 2weeks after everyone already knew about it. So, it didn’t come as a shock to me when I realized I have been missing out on the gist of female proposals.

By the way, I love the female folks, and I am a huge fan of them. I love to speak about, with and for them. I have a family full of them. I lead a ministry for females, I volunteer for some, when I can. I love the female folks.

That said, on Voice of Worth’s WhatsApp group (a ministry to females), it came to my notice that a certain proposal went wrong. The lady was proposing to a man that was allegedly married. As I read more about this drama, I discovered that this wasn’t a first time it was happening, it was increasingly becoming a popular trend.

Now, I don’t know how this originated, but I do know that relationships was originated by God.

God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a compan­ion.” Genesis 2:18

If we are going to get it right, it is imperative that we follow His model and make our decisions based on that.

Yes, it can be argued that Jesus didn’t pointedly mention who to ask who out but certain specifics where given.

Jesus establishes a model for us to follow, and its a pretty simple model.

Jesus is called the bridegroom, and the church is considered the bride.

Jesus, the groom, left heaven and all the comfort and glory it afforded him to woo us (his bride)

But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. – Philippians: 2. 7-8

He then went ahead to carry out his proposal – He hung on the cross and died – just so that he might have you and I.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians: 5. 23

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians: 5. 25.

This is the order that was established for marriage and in a wider spectrum, the relationships that lead to it.

Christ (the groom) came to ‘propose’ to his bride…the bride decides to accept or not.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Revelation: 3. 20

Hence, the guy (the groom) is required to be the one to propose to the lady (bride). That’s the order.

This order continues as they become one in marriage.


I hear that a reason some girls take the bull by the horn is because they are going out with a Mr Shy or because the guy fears rejection. Let’s go back to our model.

Jesus loved us so much that he took action. Jesus, despite knowing that he would still be rejected by many, still went ahead to give the proposal.

I believe that when a guy is truly and deeply in love with a girl, it propels him to act. Whether shy or scared of rejection, the love he claims to have propels him to act.

Even when you have confirmations from God, there is still a 0.01% probability and fear of rejection (at least it was for me), but you go ahead to take the step all the same.

Christian ladies and guys, let’s choose to lead our relationships based on scriptural models rather than societal influences.

Societal influence in relationships and marriage has failed. It has birthed fake lives, photoshoped marriages and unbearable relationships. Lots of wounds, pains and emotional damage has been caused. Don’t go that way.

We have a model let’s keep our eyes on Him and blur every other thing.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews: 12. 2

So, let the questions and comment roll in.

3 thoughts on “Should a Christian Lady propose to a guy?

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