My Confession Series: The Heat Of Lust!

We were alone in the reconstruction site. We were in the inner office together, there was no one else in the large compound, the workers didn’t come to site today, and the gate was locked too. I locked it myself, so I was sure we were alone and we were going to be alone for a long time as I wasn’t expecting any visitor neither did I have any appointment with anyone at that time. She stood before me in a mini skirt and a simple ‘macaroni’ top, which wasn’t really a surprise as that was how she used to dress. I don’t know maybe because of the scantiness of her clothes she was not feeling the sudden heat that engulfed the room, but I did. There was heat, and it was not just the room temperature.

Though I kept a calm exterior, my inside was in a state of hullaballoo! My hormones were already on fire, they were threatening to force themselves out of every pore on my body. My mind was calculating many things, things that weren’t even relevant at the time. Here I was battling to keep my mind sane after years of being exposed to romance novels and right in the middle of the battle I am presented with a real life ’temptation’.

She wasn’t a stranger by the way, we were what you could call ‘chat mates’. She lived on a street that it was ‘everyone-mind-your-business’, I worked on the same street where the major people had to deal with are the site workers, artisans, and once in a while, the director of the reconstruction site I was supervising, and they were all older than me in age. The day we met was like any other day, except that one day while I was sitted in my office, she walked into the office to make enquiries about something (can’t remember what exactly now). She introduced herself to me , she had an interesting name, one I had never heard before, I complemented her name, and well, that was the beginning of our ‘getting-to-know-you’ talks. We’ve been keeping each other company, until now, but it was obvious that our company keeping was already going out of hands.

After I couldn’t take the heat anymore, I moved from my inner office and moved to the outer office where there was more air, but nothing changed. As soon as she came out of the inner office into the outer office, the heat returned and covered me like a cloak. I sat on a 2-seater hoping she would take the other seat opposite me, but no, she sank right into the same cushion I was on. I could feel the hairs on my legs grazing hers, I adjusted a little more. I suddenly remembered that she had told me she wanted to have her first child at 18years old because her mum had had her at that time, ‘was I supposed to be the father of the child?’ I pondered. I wasn’t ready, that I knew, but what I didn’t know was how to get out of this awkward situation.

After a while, she started complaining of cold, then headache, long story short, she decided to lie down. Without warning, she lied down on the cushion we were both sitting on. A bead of sweat broke on my forehead.

Pause.

If you have been following, you’ll remember I said it was a 2-sitter. Her head and entire torso was lying on my laps while she folded her long legs into the remaining space and for a while, I consistently told her to stand up, but I said it only in my mind. Funny enough, my raging hormones seemed to have calmed down, but the heat was still on. She slept right there. And I stayed right there, ensuring my hands did not move anywhere, or my eyes move anywhere. I was willing for someone to knock at the gate and give me a reason to ask her to stand, I couldn’t tell her the reason I wanted her to stand was because her body was making mine go crazy, and what if that wasn’t intended? What if she laughs at me and call me a baby? We weren’t doing anything, right? Truth was, I was a coward, I couldn’t tell her the truth and save both of us unnecessary sexual pressure, so she stayed there until she woke up and said her good bye and left. Just like that.

Whether she had other things on her mind when she came or it was just the unstable state of mind I was that made me see things that weren’t there there, I was glad I didn’t mess up that day. But I learnt that it was better to practice the ‘flee’ doctrine than it was to do the ‘let-us-reason-together’ one. I was saved that day, but I had learnt.

Sometime after that, I heard stories from people I knew, guys and girls alike that told me of mistakes they made even in less ‘compromising’ situation than mine. I knew it wasn’t by my power and I fully identify with that.

Why did I share that? Well, every time I tell people I am a Proud Virgin, they wonder how it is possible. It’s definitely not because I’ve never had my own set of little temptations like I mentioned yesterday, but as the scripture says, it’s not by power nor by might, but by my sprit says the Lord. I trust Him.

Also, I discover that many could really avoid some sexual errors they have made if only they had being bold enough to face their cowardice and put a stop to the ‘we are not doing anything’ times. Anything you are doing and can’t be done in front of people needs to be checked.

Now, if you have made a mistake before, you fell during your own time of temptation, you can stand right up and remain standing. You can. God loves so much and wants you to have victory over sin. But you may never be able to do that except you allow Him be your BOSS. That the way it is. Ask Jesus to come into your life and take over, and you’ll be fine from back to back! I love you!

Be sure to check back tomorrow as I still have another confession to make.

Here is an excerpt.

“We were in the kitchen together. Alone. We looked at each other at the same time, and I noticed she winked at me. She winked at me. Did she just winked at me?”

See you tomorrow!

4 thoughts on “My Confession Series: The Heat Of Lust!

  1. Wow…in such situations, most times, it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to come out untainted… especially, as you said, with years of exposure to romance novels… Truly it was not by your power or might… It was and still is God keeping you… Thanks for sharing.. It has strengthened my Faith in a way… I can indeed do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

    Like

  2. What happens when you can say no to sexual sin with others but find it hard to resist yourself? Such that you even get close masturbating… Today u overcome, one month later you fall again. Can anything get more frustrating? Especially when you know d devil uses it to slow down ur serving Christ..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello friend, I can almost touch your frustration through your words. You come across as one who really desires to WIN whatever ‘self-sex’ desire is closing in on you! I respect that!

      Allow me assure you, there’s indeed victory. You can win and you will.

      Permit me to answer this question on a separate post so that many others can break free from this chain.

      Thanks for sharing, friend.

      Like

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